So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Randomize
