So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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