when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
