two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
