Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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