Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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