so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
