holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
