Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
