Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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