I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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