wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
