he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
