btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
