You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
