In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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