i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Your shirt... Was in my pants
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
