John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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