if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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