I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
