my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
