This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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