he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
