no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
