I have demons in me.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
