you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
