Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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