did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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