false alarm. still invincible.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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