Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
