yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
