he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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