New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
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