just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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