Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize