Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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