STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
