i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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