I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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