your thong is hanging out like whoa
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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