They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
This baby is an asshole
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I need a beard to bite.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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