You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
