This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
