I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
is that a dick in a sweater?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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