white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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