have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
