There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
