Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
