I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
