dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
